One of the things I am most looking forward to on this summer’s Mongol Rally is searching for hilarious headlines in newspapers from of the places I’ll visit. It’s become a weird hobby of mine ever since I read a headline saying “More Mutilated Ducks Found – Foul Play Suspected.”
It’s not like I can read anything other than English or a menu from a Mexican restaurant; but we’ll be on the road for a long time so I figure I may as well kill time using Google Translate to see if I come across any more gems like these:
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds DeadCold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
War Dims Hope for Peace
Obesity Study Looks for Larger Test Group
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Disclaimer. Most of this collection came from an online discussion of college football, that digressed from the question of what will be next year’s college football headlines, to what are the dumbest headlines ever? I wish I knew who to credit for these journalistic marvels, but I don’t. If you’re responsible for any of these, feel free to give yourself credit. I’d love to hear the funniest/dumbest headlines you’ve encountered.
Thanks for the laughs.
Too funny. Can’t wait to see what happens when you mix these headlines with Google Translate. I’ve started to put French things that I understand into Google Translate just for a giggle. My favorite was that we should “not wear anything” to a party we’ve been invited to (the hostess meant not to BRING anything), and that my mother-in-law speaks old english “Didst thou like the lamb?”.
Thanks Diane! Love that your mother-in-law speaks old English. Did you see the iMEET commercial with the founding fathers? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nx_cIj5mv4
Oops, I gave the link to the wrong iMEET commercial – this one starts the safe as the other one but has a funnier ending http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keFyxfsZ40U
They are funny but quite amazing that they made it to being published as well. Obviously the author/s never heard of proof reading!!
Thanks Natalie!
Here’s hoping that they never learn of proof reading:)